Dr. Chase Hudson (The Surrogate Book 2) Page 12

  She bit the inside of her cheek, looking completely and utterly... fucking... lost.

  “You can't talk to me right now?” I asked, thinking of her mutism as I reached out to rub some stray tears from her cheeks. Her head shook as an answer and my heart broke for her a little. “Okay. That's okay,” I crooned. “I want to be here for you,” I said, meaning it more than I had ever meant anything. “Can I be here?” To this, I got nothing. No words. No sounds. No head shakes or nods. Nothing. “I don't feel comfortable leaving you if you can't even answer me. So I am going to stay right here, okay?” I asked, lowering myself down on the floor beside her bed. “If you need me, I'm right here. If you don't... I'm here anyway.”

  My hand fell from her face and as soon as it did, she curled up into herself, shutting me out. Not long later, she fell into a restless sleep.

  I just sat there, going over every single second of the time in that bed, trying to figure out what I might have done or said to make her shut down on me. But in the end, I came up with nothing.

  Her eyes opened slowly, eyelids painfully swollen.

  “Hey,” I said softly.

  Then she did something completely unexpected. She reached her arms out and grabbed me, dragging me toward her. I stood up and quickly kicked out of my shoes before she could change her mind and climbed into the space beside her. “Come on,” I said, stretching my arm out. “Come rest on your spot.”

  Before she had even moved toward me, the tears started streaming down her face again and I let my arms wrap her up gently, not wanting to freak her out any more, but needing to hold her.

  “I didn't know something was wrong,” I murmured, half to myself. “I would have helped you. You seemed fine. Happy even. I knew you were in there too long. I should have guessed something was up.”

  Silence followed, but I hadn't expected anything else. I wasn't a miracle worker. She needed time. My arms went tighter around her. “I'm proud of you for using the safe word. I know that wasn't easy for you. Especially when you were so upset. I wish you would have stayed. I wish you would have talked to me about it and not let yourself go to this place.”

  A minute later, Shay's shadow moved across the doorway again, pausing for a second before she came in and sat at the foot of the bed, resting her hand on Ava's leg. Letting her know she was there for her.

  “Is she gonna be alright?” she asked, sounding concerned. “I've seen her panic before but this is different.”

  “She'll be okay,” I said. She would. She had to be. No matter what. No matter how long it took, how much work it took. I broke her. I was going to fix her.

  “What happened?”

  I sighed. “Honestly?” I asked, shaking my head. “I don't know.”

  “Did you guys...”

  “Yeah. But she was fine. I swear, Shay. I was paying attention.” Yeah, I was trying to etch every single memory, every breath, every sigh into my soul. I didn't miss anything. “In my professional opinion, she was handling it really well.”

  Then Ava wasn't calm and still against me anymore. No. She shrank away. Like I disgusted her. Like she didn't want to be anywhere near me. She rolled onto her other side, facing away from me, and curling back up into her ball again.

  “I guess she didn't like something you said,” Shay said, standing.

  “Yeah,” I agreed, feeling suddenly tired. Bone deep fucking tired. Body and soul. “But fuck if I know what it was.”

  “Figure it out,” Shay said, her tone leaving no leeway for me to screw that mission up. “I mean it, Doc. Fix her. I want her back to how she was before. She was doing so good. Going out. Being more open with me and Jake...”

  “I know.”

  “How many more sessions are you supposed to have?”

  “Four.”

  “What are they?” she asked bluntly.

  It wasn't really right for me to tell her. At least not the specifics. But she was worried about her friend. And, well, I didn't think she was the type of woman who would back down. “More... intimacy,” I hedged. “For two more sessions. Then on the ninth session, I take her out.”

  “For what?”

  “To teach her how to handle herself around men. Flirt with them,” I said, the words like venom to my system. “Shut them down if she doesn't want them. Prepare for her new life once therapy is over.”

  “And the last?” Shay pressed.

  “Patient's choice. We can do recaps of everything. We can try a fetish if there is one she is interested in. Threesomes. Or even just... talk therapy.”

  “Pretty sure she ain't into threesomes.”

  “I know. I honestly hate those sessions anyway,” I admitted, shaking my head.

  “Too much work, huh?” Shay asked with a knowing smile.

  “I think the only men who want them are men who have no idea what they are getting into.”

  “Well,” Shay said, moving toward the door, “like I said... fix her. She's the best.”

  “I know,” I said, but Shay was already gone. I was talking to myself.

  I sat up for I don't know how long listening to her cry. I wanted to reach out for her. I wanted to do or say anything to help her. But she didn't want my affection and I suddenly found myself lost for words.

  Finally, she fell asleep.

  A while later, so did I.

  I woke up alone. Again. Ava was gone. Again.

  I sat up in her bed that smelled too much like her and ran my hands down my face. I was hoping that her being up was a good thing. That she wasn't just trying to get away from me again.

  I got up on a sigh, moving toward the door and stopping in the doorway as I watched Ava walk out of the bathroom in jeans and a black long sleeve tee. Her wet hair was pulled back into a ponytail which only accented how swollen and red her eyes were.

  “I said we both got the stomach flu from some bad take-out,” Shay's voice called from the kitchen. “You 'aight?”

  Ava opened her mouth to speak then turned suddenly, her eyes catching mine. Then she looked me up and down, taking in my face which likely looked as rough as I felt, then looking over my wrinkled suit.

  “Ava...” I said, a thousand words caught on my tongue.

  She turned to Shay for a second, who nodded, then walked toward me, waiting for me to move out of the way so we could both go in her bedroom.

  I closed the door behind me as she took a deep breath as if trying to steel herself. “I'm sorry,” she said, lifting her chin a little.

  “Ava you have nothing to be sorry for,” I said, shaking my head. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “I... had a panic attack,” she said, unnecessarily. “After. Which was different and I just... didn't handle it well.”

  Something didn't feel right about that to me. But I couldn't place it and I couldn't press her either. “Okay. Why didn't you tell me?”

  “I just... needed some space.”

  Again, something felt false in her words.

  “Alright. I understand,” I said, though I didn't because she wasn't being honest. “I wish you would have felt comfortable enough to share that with me though.” Or tell me the truth right then. “So we could work it out together.”

  “I'll try harder next time,” she said and there was a sort of determination in her words. “It just kind of snuck up on me. I was zero to ten in like two minutes.”

  I nodded, moving toward her, my hand rising to touch her cheek. I needed to feel connected to her again. But she shrank away, skirting past me, and going toward the door. “I think Shay is making breakfast. You're welcome to stay,” she said almost robotically.

  “Oh, um. I have to go home and change. I have a client at ten,” I said, watching her with drawn-together brows.

  “Okay. What time is our next session?” she asked in the same dead tone.

  “Ava, are you sure you're alright? You seem...”

  “I'm fine,” she interrupted brightly, plastering on a
smile that I didn't buy for a second.

  I watched her for a beat, weighing whether or not to push her before deciding it wasn't the time. “Okay,” I sighed. “Tomorrow at seven.”

  “Alright,” she said as she opened the door and started leading me through the apartment. “I'll see you then. I'm sorry you needed to come out.”

  “I didn't need to come. I wanted to come. And it's nothing. I'll see you tomorrow,” I said, not wanting to leave. I wanted, instead, to cancel all my clients and drag her back into her bedroom to force her to tell me the truth.

  “Yup. See you then,” she said and gave me the fake smile again and shut the door in my face.

  Seventh Session

  By the time seven rolled around the next night, I had calmed myself down. Thank god. Because up until then, I was ready to jump down her throat and demand a little honesty. But that was pure selfishness. So I got my shit together and got my head in the game.

  The door opened and there she was in a simple long-sleeve dress.

  “Ava,” I said, sending her a small smile.

  “Chase,” she said back as she turned to lock the door.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Can't complain,” she shrugged, walking toward me. That was new. I was always the one to approach her.

  “You sure? You seem a little...” There wasn't even a word for it. Off. Not herself. Something to that effect.

  “My roommates are at each other's throats.”

  “Roommates?” I asked as we walked through my office and into the bedroom. “Plural?”

  “Yeah, Shay is moving in,” she said casually as she gave the playlist more consideration than usual. She finally hit one and then the music from a list called “fucking” came on, making me almost drop the martini I was holding out to her. “What?” she asked, feigning innocence as filthy lyrics blasted through the speakers.

  “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head, watching as she drained her drink.

  “So session seven...” she started.

  “Yeah,” I said, shaking my head again. Nothing about her was right. But I gestured toward the nightstand where a basket full of sex toys was situated. “These are just here in case you want to experiment,” I said, moving to stand beside her as she looked through the contents. “There is no pressure. Some of the items in there are things that some people will never have any interest in and that's fine. But I like to bring it all out because it can be easier to point out something instead of telling someone that you want to try it.”

  She nodded, reaching into the basket, and coming back with a lilac colored vibrator. She tossed it onto the bed with a shrug, making my cock twitch in anticipation. “Yeah?” I asked.

  “Sure. Why not?” she countered, kicking out of her shoes then ripping her dress off.

  I was just about to ask again what was wrong when my air hissed out of my mouth. Because she wasn't just out of her dress. She was completely fucking naked.

  “You were just,” I started, my voice low and deep, “walking up my street pantyless in that dress?” I asked, a smile tugging at my lips

  “Yes. Now why are you still dressed?” she demanded, her voice strong.

  I felt my brows draw together, my head tilting as I watched her for a minute. I wanted to ask. I really did. But if she wanted to take the lead, then there was no good reason for me to question her. Taking the lead was a big step for many women. For her, it was huge. So I was just going to enjoy it. I started taking off my clothes. She sat down on the bed, working at the plastic casing to the vibrator until she got it free.

  Done undressing, I took the vibrator from her hands, twisted off the battery cap, inserted batteries, and twisted it back on.

  “Lay back and spread your legs,” I said, kneeling on the edge of the bed.

  She immediately scooted back, letting her legs fall open. She was already wet for me. I took a steadying breath as a jolt of desire shot through my system. I brought my arm forward, running the vibrator between the folds of her pussy. She flinched away from the cold until I turned it on.

  And her entire body shuddered.

  Shuddered.

  Hard.

  Fuck me.

  I moved it up toward her clit and her eyes went huge. Her mouth fell open. Her back arched. Jesus Christ. Her moans filled my ears, making the urge to get inside her overwhelm me. But I needed to see her come first. So I just kept pulsing the vibrator on her clit.

  It was barely two minutes before her orgasm ripped through her violently, making her cry out and wrench away from the sensation to curl up on her side and shake through the waves.

  “Jesus Christ,” I groaned, turning off the vibrator and setting it aside. She was still curled into herself, her breathing erratic when I crawled onto the bed behind her, putting my hand on her hip. “Baby?”

  She sucked in a breath. “I'm fine.”

  “You sure?” I asked her back.

  “Yep. That was just... intense.”

  That was putting it fucking lightly.

  “Yeah, I know,” I said, letting my hands stroke up her spine. “Just watching you through that... fuck me.”

  Then suddenly, she rolled onto her back. “Go ahead,” she said, making my brows draw together. Go ahead?

  “What?” I asked, my hand seemingly unable to strop touching her as I stroked across her belly.

  “Fuck me,” she said, keeping her gaze on mine, almost like a challenge. Like she was daring me to call her on it.

  “What?” I asked again, not quite believing she could be saying those words.

  “I said go ahead and fuck me.”

  “Jesus,” I hissed, shaking my head at her. Again, on a personal level, I wanted to ask her what was up. I wanted to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with her. But on a professional level, it would be stupid to try to take her power away from her.

  Then she shot up off the bed, moving to the edge, making my heart fly into my chest. She wasn't going to run from me. Not again.

  “Babe... what's the matter? Where are you going?”

  She turned back toward me, holding out a condom foil. “Just getting something,” she said, pressing it into my hand.

  I broke open the condom and slipped it on, keeping my gaze on hers, trying to figure her out. But her mask was carefully in place.

  God damn it.

  Once the condom was on, she moved to lay down on the mattress and I grabbed her arm to stop her. “No. We did that already,” I told her, watching a bit of surprise cross her face and feeling unreasonably pleased by it. At least it was a genuine reaction. “Time for something new.”

  “Okay,” she said, shrugging.

  I wanted to shake her. How the hell was I supposed to fuck her when she was being so distant? So shut down?

  “Come here,” I said, patting my leg.

  She unfolded from herself slowly, hesitantly moving to straddle my waist. “Like this?” she asked, her tone a little shy as she rested her hand tentatively on my shoulder. Fuck yeah. There was my girl.

  “Yeah, baby,” I said, moving my hand between us to grab my cock and slide it down her slick cleft, making her groan, making her bite into her lip. “You're going to ride me. Show me how you like being fucked.”

  Her eyes went wide for a second before getting heavy with desire. “Okay.”

  As soon as I heard the word, I pressed my cock against the threshold to her pussy, waiting. “You're in control,” I reminded her and a small smile toyed with her lips. She took a deep breath and started to press her body down into mine. Her tight pussy grabbed at me as I spread her slowly, inch by inch. “That's it, baby. Take me in.”

  Then she did. Deep. To the hilt, feeling my cock hit at an angle it hadn't the last time, stroking over a spot that made her forehead fall down to my shoulder on a primal groan.

  “You're so fucking tight,” I told her, my hands digging into her ass. “You feel how your pussy is squeezing me?�
�� Against my shoulder, she nodded. I pressed my hips up into hers slightly. “Find what feels good, Ava,” I told her, my hands moving to her hips.

  She lifted her head as she shifted upward, moving until I was half out of her before pressing all the way back in, moaning.

  “That feel good?”

  Her pussy tightened around me. “Yeah,” she whimpered, lifting up again.

  She pushed back down. “Try this, baby,” I said, taking her hips and moving them back then forward, letting my cock rub hard against her g-spot.

  “Oh my god,” she cried, her fingers digging into my shoulder.

  Fuck. The sound of her when my cock was inside her... it was almost my undoing. It took everything I had to hold myself off. “Make yourself come, Ava.”

  It didn't take long. Her g-spot proved every bit as sensitive as her clit as she rocked against me. It came on slow, a hard tightening around me followed by a slow, deep pulsating as she collapsed against me, gasping, her nails drawing blood from my shoulders.

  I stroked my hands up and down her spine, giving her a minute to recover, but knowing I was nowhere near finished with her.

  She moved backward, her brows drawing together when she felt me still hard inside her.

  I felt the smile toy at my lips. “Yeah, I'm not done with you yet,” I told her and her pussy clenched hard, making the smile spread. “You like that idea, don't you?”

  She fought a smile and pursed her lips. “Eh, maybe,” she said, feigning indifference but the vice grip of her cunt on me told a whole other story.

  I chuckled, taking her by the hips and tossing her onto the mattress. “All fours,” I said, my voice stern, unable to keep the edge out of my tone. She rolled onto her belly but didn't rise up as I moved to stand at the edge of the bed. Too far gone to give a fuck about reining in my natural dominant tendencies, I grabbed her ankles and dragged her toward me until her knees were at the edge. “I said all fours,” I growled. There wasn't even a pause as she got up on all fours. “Good girl,” I said, my hands squeezing her ass. My palms moved down the backs of her thighs, just to the spot where they met high up to hide her pussy and I slapped that spot hard. “Now spread your legs.”