Dr. Chase Hudson (The Surrogate Book 2) Read online

  When he was clean, he was one of the best guys around. Unfortunately, no matter how many treatment programs I got him into, Eddie was never clean for more than two weeks at a time after he got out.

  I gave him a blanket and went to my room, lying down and trying to think of anything other than Ava perfect freaking Davis.

  Obviously, I failed.

  Third Session

  I still had Eddie on my couch.

  And as much as it bothered me to see him stumble around drunk or high, I liked having him around. I guess that made me an enabler. His stay would end like all previous ones had- with me trying to convince him to go back into detox and rehab, reminding him he had my support, often going with him on the group therapy days.

  But I owed it to him.

  He saved me and I was never going to stop trying to save him.

  Besides, it was nice to not go home to an empty apartment every night. Hell, the guy even cooked when he was clear-headed enough to remember how to use the stove.

  So he was on my mind as I shuffled though paperwork I had my receptionist print out for various clinics for him. After all the years, he had cornered the market on most of the close ones and I was having to branch out. That was where my head was when the door open, slammed, and I heard someone fall back against it.

  My head snapped up to find Ava collapsed against the door, dressed in black leggings and a sand-colored sweater that was so large it completely swallowed her body up.

  But that wasn't what got me. What got me was she was completely and utterly wrecked. Anxious. Pale. She had huge bags under her eyes from sleeplessness.

  “Ava...”

  “Please please,” she started, holding up a hand to silence me. “Please just tell me what this session is.”

  Fuck.

  I felt my shoulders fall as I tilted my head. “Oh, baby,” I said, already crossing the floor toward her, pulling her away from the door and wrapping my arms around her. Unable to stop myself, I kissed the top of her hair. “Next time you're this anxious about needing to know something, you call me. I don't want you stressing over something I can easily fix. Actually,” I said, reaching for her hand and prying her phone from between her fingers, “I will give you my cell so that, no matter what time it is, you can call me and I can talk you down. Okay?”

  “Okay,” she said, her voice hollow. “You still haven't answered me.”

  “I know,” I said, half untangling myself from her body, wrapping my arm around her waist and guiding her through my office and into the bedroom. She refused drinks and put on another safe playlist. “Babe, how long has it been since you've slept?”

  There was a weird shaky laugh before, “For how long?”

  I felt my eyes rolling. “For more than an hour at a time.”

  “Wednesday.”

  Jesus Christ.

  “Next time, you call me,” I told her, putting her phone down on the sidebar, taking her hand, and leading her over to the bed. I kicked out of my shoes and took off my jacket before moving into the bed. There was a moment of hesitation before she was out of her shoes and beside me. Not touching, just both of us lying there side by side.

  I wasn't going to reach for her, to possibly freak her out more than she already was. So I waited.

  In the end, I didn't even have to wait long. Her body shifted, curling into my side. Then, to my complete and utter shock, she unbuttoned my shirt. Quickly. Efficiently. With sure fingers. Then she moved the sides apart and laid her head down on my chest. My arm went around her, squeezing her a bit too hard, like I wanted to anchor her to me for what I was about to say.

  “Tonight's session is about masturbation.”

  She stiffened and choked out, “What about it?”

  “Everything about it. We will talk about it. Then we will undress. And then we will do it.”

  “Wait. What?” she asked, her voice a strange high-pitched squeak. Every cell in her body on edge.

  “Ava, calm down. I know it's an uncomfortable topic for a lot of people. Actually, this might be one of the hardest lessons. It's understandable that you feel awkward or embarrassed. That's totally normal.”

  Most people, average well adjusted people didn't masturbate in front of their partners. It was somehow an ingrained embarrassment. For both sexes.

  “Do you?” she asked.

  “No baby,” I answered carefully. While there may have been a time when that was the case, it was long gone. Both personally and professionally. “But listen, there is nothing at all to feel embarrassed about. A woman making herself feel good is amazing. You making yourself feel good? That is going to be fucking beautiful. And I can't wait to see it.” I paused, letting my mind wander for the barest of moments. “Are you more uncomfortable with watching me masturbate or having me watch you?” I asked, already pretty sure of the answer.

  “You watching me,” she admitted, the sound muffled and I looked down to see she had her face buried in her hands.

  “Okay. Then I will start first.” I pressed her back onto the mattress and stood beside the bed, slipping out of my shirt and moving to the zipper of my pants. “Don't be shy in front of me baby,” I said, wanting her to get up and start stripping as well. She didn't fight. She didn't even stall. She simply sat up, pushed down her leggings, and pulled off her sweater, leaving her sitting there in simple black panties and a black bra. “And the rest?” I asked, hearing my voice get husky. She was somehow sexier in in plain cotton panties than most women were in three hundred dollar lingerie. She reached behind her back for the clasp of her bra and quickly discarded it away, then laid back to shimmy out of her panties. “Beautiful,” I said, just as naked as her as I climbed into the bed. “Come here,” I said as I lay back.

  Then she simply... flew at me. Like the only thing that could make her feel better was being as close to me as possible. Fuck if that didn't feel good. It shouldn't have, because she was just a client. But it did. I stifled the suspicion that that was because I wanted her to be more than that.

  To distract myself, my hand slid confidently down my body, grabbing my cock and starting to stroke. “Are you watching?” I asked, though her head had already shifted and I knew she was.

  “Yes,” she said almost too quietly to be heard.

  “I want to watch you baby,” I said, letting my arm release her. “Please.”

  She was turned on. There was no mistaking it. It was in her shallow, quick breathing. It was in the flush on her cheeks and chest. It was in the way her legs kept shifting against the raging desire between them.

  She took a deep breath and her hand started trailing down her body. Her legs parted just wide enough for her hand to slip in and her fingers slipped between them, stroking up her pussy and making a surprised whimper escape her lips.

  I almost fucking came right then and there.

  It was the hottest thing I had ever witnessed before.

  “Don't stop, Ava,” I said and her eyes moved to find mine. “Please don't stop.” Her hand shifted upward on her pussy, finding her clit, and circling it. “There you go. Just like I said... fucking beautiful.”

  And it was.

  Her eyes fell from mine and moved down my body, watching as I stroked my cock as she worked her fingers over herself.

  Not a minute later, I lost her. Her body got stiff. Her hand went lax between her thighs. She was lost somewhere inside.

  My hand dropped my cock. “Ava,” I said and her eyes rose to me. “There you are,” I said, giving her a small smile before my lips crushed down on hers. Hard. Passionate. Full of all the longing I was feeling in that moment. I wanted to show it to her. I wanted her to take it on as her own. It wasn't long before her body came alive again, a low whimpering from her lips, a writhing. Then a jolt through her whole body. My touch. My touch was what got her out of her head. Fuck me.

  “Touch yourself, baby. Think of me doing it.”

  And, fuck, how I wanted to be the one doi
ng it.

  But it had to be her. This time it had to be her.

  Her fingers started moving across her clit again, her lips falling slightly apart, her back arching off of the bed.

  I stroked my cock again, alternating between watching her face as it twisted in desire and watching her hand between her legs.

  She was getting close.

  Then she was gone again. This time she was not just distant, but completely pale with some memory. I found myself wishing I could wipe those from her psyche, give her a fresh start. Nothing should have been able to stop her from enjoying her own touch. Nothing. But something was.

  My hand moved from her shoulder and, while I knew I shouldn't, I put my hand down on top her hers between her legs. She needed it. She needed me. It was the only thing that was going to pull her back.

  “Be here. With me,” I said, my fingers crooking inward and pressing hers harder against her clit and she gasped. “Yeah, like that. Keep your eyes on me.”

  So she did. Her eyes held mine as her fingers went to work between her thighs. My hand stayed there, but didn't assist. I just kept her grounded to me as she drove herself up. Moaning. Back arching. Legs moving across the mattress. Hips rising to meet her strokes.

  Fuck.

  We were both close.

  “So sexy,” I said, feeling my body get tense as my orgasm threatened.

  Her head tilted up and my lips pressed into hers, wanting the intimacy, wanting to share the moment.

  Then she pulled suddenly back. Her breath caught. Her eyes got wide.

  “That's it. Come for me, baby.”

  Then she did.

  And it was hard.

  Her body went taut. A loud cry escaped her lips as she shook through her orgasm, her hand slamming down on my chest.

  Fucking beautiful.

  Nothing came close.

  Spent, she shifted closer, curling into me. Her hand pulled away and I moved mine. Not away. Just nestled between her closed thighs, feeling her heat and wetness there and it was my undoing.

  I came hard, my body jerking, my hand digging into her inner thigh. “Fuck, Ava,” I growled, stroking a few more times until I was completely spent.

  Then she did the sweetest fucking thing. She snuggled into my neck and planted a kiss at the bottom of my throat as I tried to slow my breathing.

  I tilted my head down, kissing her forehead. “Let me up, babe,” I said, needing to go clean up. It was clearly not a plan she was all that happy about as she made a grumbling noise and rolled off of me, making me chuckle as I got up and walked toward the bathroom.

  I washed up quickly but in the time it took me to get back to her, she was snuggled deep into the blankets, eyes at half-mast, bone deep tired from all the sleeplessness and likely aggravated by her orgasm. I smiled down at her as I slipped underneath the covers. I pulled her to my chest. “It's okay. Get some sleep,” I told her, my other arm wrapping her tight. “I'm right here.”

  And she was right there.

  And I had a sneaking feeling that was where I would always want her to be.

  Fuck, fuck me.

  After the Session

  I woke up alone.

  Which normally wasn't a big deal.

  But I woke up alone in a bed in my office when I had fallen asleep with a very soft, very contented Ava wrapped up with me. An Ava who had proven herself a practiced worrywart, capable of turning a situation that had gone well, that had made her (and by extension, me) happy, and twist it into something dark.

  Fuck.

  I never got dressed that fast in my life, still buttoning my shirt as I looked through the room, my office, then reception for some kind of note explaining what happened. I grabbed my keys and phone and made my way to the door. Which was locked. That made no damn sense whatsoever.

  I went out, scrolling through my contacts until I found her entry, and hit send.

  “This is Ava. Please leave a message.”

  Was she ignoring my calls? Or was she genuinely out of reach?

  I called again. And again. And again.

  If it was any other woman, I'd have been fucking embarrassed to let so many calls go unanswered. But she wasn't any other woman. She was shy, sweet, tortured little Ava and I was worried.

  On a curse, I slammed my car door and turned back toward my office, still trying to reach her.

  It was crossing a line. It was crossing all kinds of lines. But I looked up her address. Then I drove my ass to her apartment. I banged on her door loud enough to wake all of her neighbors.

  I heard the locks slide and the door swung open. Then there she was. In pajamas. With sleep-hooded eyes. Thank fuck.

  “Chase?” she asked, her light brows drawing together like she wasn't sure if she was seeing what she was seeing.

  “Jesus Christ, woman,” I growled to myself, running a anxious hand through my hair.

  “Chase, what are you doing here?”

  “You scared the fuck out of me,” I admitted.

  “What?”

  “I woke up alone. I woke up alone and there was no note or anything. And my front door was somehow locked.”

  She skipped over everything else I said and focused on the damn door topic. “I fiddled with it with one of my keys until it finally clicked.”

  “I called your phone... I don't know... twenty-five times.”

  “Oh,” she said, her mouth pouting slightly as she looked to the side of the door where, I assumed, her phone must have been. “I didn't have it with me,” she said. Then, taking a deep breath as if she needed to muster her courage, she asked, “Chase, why are you here?”

  “I got up. You were gone. No note. You didn't answer your cell...”

  “You were... worried about me?” she interrupted in a tone that suggested it was the most asinine idea she had ever heard.

  “Hell fucking yeah I was worried about you,” I said, shaking my head. “What did I say about walking around at night? Not just at night. It must have been like... two in the morning. That was taking an unnecessary risk. You should have woken me up so I could walk you.”

  “Chase I have been walking myself around this city alone, even at night, for years.”

  “Taking stupid chances,” I pressed. How could she not see how defenseless she truly was? If someone ever came out of an alley... “Looking like you do, you should have someone on you all the time.”

  “It's... sweet of you to worry about me and I'm sorry I didn't leave a note or answer my phone. I just... didn't want to wake you.”

  “I can always get more sleep. I can't get another you.”

  Fuck.

  That slipped out.

  I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

  Damn it.

  “What?” she asked, her eyes going a bit wide at my admission that was way too close to admitting the whole truth about how I felt.

  “Nothing,” I said, hoping for casual as I shrugged and looked away from her.

  “What the hell is going on?” a male voice joined us, making Ava start and my face to snap around, a swirling in my stomach akin to jealousy starting. Until I saw Jake, the asshole roommate, walking out of his room with pants he had obviously hastily thrown on. “Ava who the hell is at the door at this... oh,” he stopped, eyeing me. He looked sheepish. As he should. “Dr. Hudson,” he said, inclining his head.

  “Get back in here and finish fucking m...” yet another voice joined. This time female. I looked past Jake to where a black-haired girl came running out of Jake's room wearing nothing but a god damn diamond pendant necklace. “Oh, well, hello,” she purred at me, her eyes giving me a slow once-over.

  Normally, she would have been my type. Secure. Sexually confident. Unafraid of her own desires.

  But, in that moment, she simply paled into the background.

  She had nothing on the sleepy-eyed, but suddenly quite horrified, shy, insecure Ava standing a few feet from me.

 
“Hi,” I clipped to her, looking back at Ava with a raised brow, willing her to stand her ground. Trying to get her to do something about a situation that was obviously making her uncomfortable.

  “Um, Jake?” she started, her voice a little soft, but I knew she was trying.

  “Yeah?” he asked, completely oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation.

  “I'm pretty sure we agreed to a no naked in the main area of the house rule.”

  Jake looked between us and shrugged, “Yeah sure,” he said and addressed his fuck buddy. “Get back in that room and get yourself started,” he instructed and Ava's face went red.

  I fought the smile I felt tugging at my lips. She was embarrassed. It wasn't because of Jake's naked girl. It wasn't even because of Jake's mention that she get herself started. It was because she was thinking about us masturbating together.

  “You sure you guys are alright out here?” Jake asked, addressing Ava and I wondered if he had always been halfway decent about taking care of her or if it was because I scolded him at the bar a few days before.

  “Yeah, Jake. Fine,” she said, addressing her own feet.

  “Alright,” he said, nodding at me. He bent low into Ava's ear and whispered something that made her cheeks blaze all the more.

  “This is an interesting place you live in,” I said, holding in a chuckle, partly because that was just a fucking ridiculous interaction and partly because she was so damn embarrassed about it. “Ava,” I said, my tone more serious. But she just kept looking down at her feet. I let my eyes drop, taking in her bright neon green toenail polish with a smile before reaching my hand out to lift her face to mine. “What's going on in that little head of yours?” I wondered out loud. “You're blushing.”

  “I think it's polite to not say that to someone who is, in fact, blushing,” she chastened gently.

  “Are you blushing because of that comment your roommate made?” I asked, already knowing my answer.

  “What comment?” she asked, feigning ignorance.